As a rough, tomboyish girl child, it wasn’t surprising that I didn’t have many girl friends in primary school. It didn’t help that I didn’t exactly go to kindergarten (lack of socialisation!) and I started school a year early (less mature). 

I was too rough, too dirty, too wrong to play with other girls. And this carried over into my teen years. 

Although I bonded with the girls in my netball team and while on the field, I was an equal, off the court, I slipped back into my androgynous, nerdy shell. I was never openly bullied, but I was far from popular. 

Growing up, I was that girl. 

The only girl on the basketball court, the futsal court, the only girl playing FPS games at the cybercafe. 

That girl who out loud, said things like “I get along better with guys” or “I don’t have time for girl drama”. Secretly, I wondered why it was so hard to fit in. 

But it’s been more than a decade since I finished high school and somehow, I’ve found my place among women who have been true blue friends, who have accepted me just the way I am. And I am grateful. 

It’s true that I’ve had horrible lady bosses. It’s true that there are women that I dislike. And it’s true that there are some women’s groups where I’m still an outsider. 

But isn’t this the case for men as well? Surely not all men like each other. Surely there are groups for men that aren’t all-inclusive. 

Why do we expect different from women?

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