Although outwardly I look happy, even enthusiastic at times, on the inside I’ve been battling demons. There are days when my heart clenches so hard it feels like it’s about to stop. 

Some days, the pressure lets up and on those days, it feels like the world is a glorious place. Other days, it’s a lot harder to get my mind back into a positive frame of thought.

But I remind myself that “this too shall pass”. I think about the important things in my life, the people I care about, the island I want to buy. 

“Your mind will take the shape of what you frequently hold in thought, for the human spirit is coloured by such impressions.”

— Marcus Aurelius, Meditations 5:16

It’s not always enough to tell yourself to “stay positive”. But it’s possible to hold your goals in mind, whatever they may be. 

I’ve learned to do my goal-setting and dream-making in the spaces between the Bad Place, before the monster in my mind takes ahold of me. 

That way, even in the depths of despair, there’s still a vision to hold on to. Something to take step by painful step towards. 

Something that — even on days when it feels like getting out of bed is an achievement — pushes me to do more than just get out of bed. 

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